Saying goodbye in a Long Distance Relationship: 24 tips to make it easier
Saying goodbye in a long distance relationship. This is the moment that all long distance couples dread. Without exception. After spending (finally!) unforgettable days, weeks, months together, the journey unfortunately comes to an end.
And if you feel tears of happiness on your cheeks when you meet again, they are often replaced by tears of sadness when one of you has to return to his country.
So do you need a magic power to prevent yourself from being sad on D-Day?
In a word, yes.
This magic power is to break the distance.
Break the distance. The one and only goal of your relationship. What motivates you to put up with the thousands of miles that have been between you all this time.
Alas, it’s rarely possible to do this quickly. Your work, your family, and your budget won’t allow it.
And that’s perfectly normal.
You don’t choose to start a long distance relationship, but you still have to take it on.
So are you doomed to always have to endure the full force of these separations, in this airport that you now know by heart?
The answer is no.
You are missing a simple but essential thing.
Preparation.
Preparing for a physical separation is like swallowing some nasty medicine. Armed with your beautiful glass of water, you make the pill easier to swallow.
Preparing for a physical separation is like taking a cold shower. It’s unpleasant, but you need to be clean.
The result is worth it. Those airports that combine moments of happiness and sadness will seem less bland with preparation. And the apprehension of the D-day will disappear like snow in the sun.
Our first separation with my girlfriend was a disaster.
I don’t think we could have done any worse. Let me explain:
- I was rushed home a week before my scheduled departure
- 20 minutes: that’s how long it took from the moment I knew I could get on a plane until it took off
- We had time to kiss and hug. Nothing more
(To know the whole story and learn a little more about us, you can read everything here
I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I really don’t. It was horrible. The feeling of jumping into a 16 degree pool in the middle of winter.
Over 10k in the air, I swore to myself that we would never have a moment like that again.
Here are all the techniques I wrote in my notebook that day. Things to prepare, as well as discussions to have.
24 ways to say goodbye in a long distance relationship
Note: I wrote this article putting myself in the shoes of an international couple who needs to fly to find each other (because that’s my case). However, all the tips are valid for any physical separation
1. Plan the day to the millimeter and make time for everything
Saying goodbye in a long distance relationship is never easy. I’ll start with the best advice.
The idea is simple: make this last day as easy as possible so that you can have only one thing on your mind: share one last unique and amazing moment with your partner.
And the longer it lasts, the better!
And most importantly, always leave enough time for everything. If you’re in a hurry, you’re going to be stressed out. This is your last day with your partner. Having time is the most important thing to you at this time.
What would happen if you suddenly learned that in 20 minutes you had to go back to your country?
Having experienced it, I can tell you that you would be filled with regret… « If I had done it this way… »; « I should have done that… »
So plan your last day, from A to Z:
- What to pack the night before
- What time you will wake up
- What you will eat, where and who will pay
- How you will get to the airport…
This last day must be entirely dedicated to your partner. So clean up your mind! The next point is directly correlated to the time you have ahead of you. All your efforts can be ruined if you don’t think about this:
2. Choose the right place for your last moment together
This is John and Johanna, an LDR couple who just spent 2 incredible weeks together. It’s time to leave, they are both at the airport for the fateful moment. They arrived early enough to have time to find a quiet place, with not too many people.
They found a café without too much traffic, with seats!
They have 30 minutes to spare.
And then in that same airport, here are Sam and Samantha, an LDR couple who also just spent 2 incredible weeks together. They arrived at the airport for the same reason. They arrived early enough to spend one last dignified moment together. They decide to settle on one of the many rows of seats available.
The announcements are so loud that they can hardly hear each other. Children are playing and shouting a few feet away from them without the parents doing much, and they see that the eyes of passers-by are constantly on them.
Which couple do you think will have the best experience?
Think about it. It can really make a difference. Especially if you have trouble with noise like I do!
Mind you, I’m not talking about the last few seconds before the separation, but about the moment when you have to wait before going through the security checks.
We will talk about these points later. For now, here is the most important element to enjoy this moment like a sunset on the beach:
3. Be alone, one on one
It’s silly, but think about it! If it’s one of your loved ones who takes you both to the airport and stays with you, it can cause several problems:
- You will not be able to talk and exchange freely
- You will feel observed and will act differently
- You will feel bitter and regretful
It should not be a problem if it is one of your friends or your brother or sister. They should easily understand that at times like this, they need to leave you alone.
If you have very conservative parents and you have doubts about whether they will leave you alone, ask them sincerely to have some time for you.
That’s it, you’re in! You can begin to have your final discussion before departure.
Points 4 through 7 talk about what to talk about to have a great time together and make you shiver with pleasure. It will help you to saying goodbye in a long distance relationship easier.
4. Laugh together!
Essential to relax the atmosphere! A little joke to break the possible tension that may be present is always good. Bring some levity if you feel your partner is nervous. And even for you, it will be very helpful.
You can base it on your environment, what you ordered, a private joke… the main thing is that it is spontaneous.
Or you can base your jokes on one of the following three points.
5. Exchange a gift
It would be silly to miss out on one last romantic attention. Gifts are so much more valuable in a long distance relationship… They’re the few physical things you can share! So take advantage of it. You might be surprised at the emotion that will come out of this intimate and complicit moment.
I strongly advise you to agree with your partner beforehand, to avoid the classic « Oh, but I didn’t take anything from you! I feel like an idiot ».
Do it in a subtle way a few days before the D-day by telling her that you have already thought about what you are going to offer her before leaving. She’ll do the same, naturally (I hope for you!)
6. Write a letter in advance and give it to her
While some people prefer gifts, others are more sensitive to written, handwritten letters (tip #15 explains why).
If this is your case, go for it!
Arm yourself with a pen and make it dance on your paper. This is the perfect time to express your feelings, your sentiments, your fears and your love. Writing a letter allows you to extend your presence, so that your partner can imagine being with you for a while longer. It’s like a big dose of adrenaline that you inject directly into your vein.
It doesn’t matter how long it is, what spelling mistakes you make, what you cross out, what your writing style is. What matters is your authenticity.
Don’t be embarrassed! This letter will only be read by the person you love. Know that.
7. Exchange a piece of clothing or a personal item
Third and last thing to offer to saying goodbye in a long distance relationship. Certainly the most important of all.
When I think back to our first separation, this is what I missed the most.
I’m obviously talking about a personal item. Kyomi was lucky enough to have one of my sweaters inadvertently in her suitcase.
Having something in your possession that belonged to your partner is absolutely awesome and so satisfying. Especially if it’s something that is basically dear to him. It will become the witness of his confidence, his love and his benevolence towards you.
A bit like that family jewel that is passed down from generation to generation.
With a piece of clothing, it is even better because it will keep its smell for a few days.
It is also extremely easy and spontaneous for the person who is leaving! And the next time you see each other again, wear this garment to the airport (whenever possible!). The tears of happiness will flow on their own.
All the points seen so far are about living in the moment. Now I suggest a little retrospective!
This article is not finished! To discover the 17 other ways to say goodbye more easily in a long distance relationship, you can read my full article directly on my blog.
Leo & Kyomi
From the blog My Sweet LDR
