I miss my long distance boyfriend: the solution!
Missing each other is THE biggest problem for couples in long distance relationships. It’s a reality. All long distance couples face this. You are far from alone, believe me. I don’t go a day without hearing at least once « I miss my long distance boyfriend so much its hurts ».
So what do you usually do to solve this problem?
- You read advice on the Internet, but you don’t really believe it.
- You ask your partner for the miracle cure, but he feels powerless and helpless.
- You put things in place to fill that unpleasant feeling of lack, but with no real results.
It’s hard to hear, but it’s true.
The solution is not to become an emotionless person, like a stone golem. That would be prohibitive.
What you need to do is to understand how you deal with this feeling of lack. It is to know what works and what doesn’t work on you.
That’s it.
In this article, I will give you all the information you need to easily know what techniques are right for you.
I will then give you two lists of 7 tips to apply right away, depending on what works on you.
It’s almost tailor-made.
Let’s get started.
Why most LDR couples handle withdrawal poorly
Too often, long-distance couples remain passive in the face of the discomfort of withdrawal. It’s a classic mistake that many LDR couples make to think that it will eventually go away on its own.
Have you ever had a friend tell you that overnight he or she was no longer sensitive to heights when just a few days before he or she was frozen in fear on the fourth floor of his or her building?
Or an arachnophobe who suddenly and without any reason, can now take in his hand a mygale of the Amazonian forest? (Having seen them with my own eyes, they are really huge)
To fight against lack is to fight against one’s natural instinct. It is lost in advance. The feeling of lack is something absolutely normal and human.
I’m not going to lie to you: this lack will never go away. You will have to learn to live with it.
In fact, lack works like fear. You think that professional base jumpers are not afraid when they jump off a cliff?
Of course they are. The fear will never go away. The difference is that they master it. And on the contrary, they would be worried not to feel this sensation that they know so well. As Martine Delerm, a famous French teacher in France, used to say,
I will be afraid the day I will no longer be afraid
Fortunately, it is possible to learn to control this feeling of lack. And the good news is that you don’t have to jump off a cliff and risk your life to do it!
In the rest of this article, you’ll discover 5 positive thoughts to prevent cravings (with the added bonus of my « Weekend » technique to stop being bothered by your negative thoughts).
You’ll then learn what angle of attack to use when withdrawal occurs (and with a dozen examples each time).
You will be able to say goodbye to the famous phrase « I miss my long distance boyfriends so much it’s hurts »!
I miss my long distance boyfriend: 5 positive thoughts to prevent withdrawal
Positive thoughts have three incredible advantages:
- They are instantaneous
- They are easy to implement
- Anyone can use them
By using the 5 thoughts I will describe below, you will instantly think less about your partner’s absence.
If I compare you to a smoker trying to quit, these thoughts will help you not think about smoking. However, they won’t help you get over the urge if you are already thinking about it. This problem will be solved in the last two paragraphs. See the difference? Great, let’s get started!
1) Always have in mind the next time you meet
You will have a direction, a goal. You will be motivated and determined in your relationship. For the well-being of your long-distance relationship and to fight against withdrawal, it is vital to have this date in mind. It can be approximate: at the end of the year, in 3 months, in 2023… But it must exist.
2) Think about all the advantages you have due to your partner’s absence
There are many: the opportunity to travel, the time you can use only for yourself, your relationship will be infinitely stronger in the long run… you must see the distance as an opportunity. You can discover 16 advantages that LDR couples have.
3) Relativize: distance is ephemeral
Certainly the most difficult thought to implement. The point of a long distance relationship is that it becomes a long distance relationship. We can all agree on that. So fill your lungs with air, exhale slowly and put it into perspective. Distance is fleeting.
I don’t know any LDR couples who want to stay long distance for life. Why not? Because they don’t exist.
4) The feeling of lack is a proof of love
So is jealousy. Worry when you start missing your partner! We don’t think about it enough, but sometimes negative feelings can reflect positive thoughts. That’s exactly what’s going on here.
5) Make the day of departure less painful
After reading topics on the Internet starting with « I miss my long distance boyfriend », I realized that the moment when I missed the other person the most was right after a physical separation. It’s pretty logical, when you think about it.
The events are recent, it’s still fresh in our minds. We don’t imagine ourselves as strong as we are to face the distance again…
« Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened » sums up this last point perfectly.
Stop moping around with the negative in the foreground.
These personal development tips will help you. I guarantee it. Keep them in mind and say them to your partner when he or she is not having a good day.
Simple words can change someone’s mood for an entire day. Never underestimate them.
This article is not finished! To discover :
- My Weekend Technique that allows you to not systematically become sad when you suddenly think of your partner)
- Knowing if you are an “All” or a “Nothing”
- 14 tips that will help you not to miss your partner
